Fear Itself

Are you familiar with Cedar Point... "America's Roller Coast.-Ride On"? Ranked as one of the top amusement parks in the world, we are fortunate to live 2-1/2 hours away, and so we get there once a year on average. In 2003, Cedar Point debuted an insane coaster named 'Top Thrill Dragster'. Riders are propelled at a speed of 120 mph to a height of 420', then straight back down all in 17 seconds. Feel free to pause in your reading, open a new tab, google it and watch a video of this ride. The first time I set eyes on it, I made a mental proclamation, "I do not need to get on that ride, just watching it is thrilling enough. Period. End of idea."  Each year, I would repeat that mantra, throwing in additional affirmations such as, "that can't be healthy for any human body", and "I'm not waiting an hour in line for a ride that only lasts 17 seconds." But, as a genius marketing ploy, (or as a cruel taunt), Cedar Point has an actual grand stand for spectators that I could never resist, because, well, it truly is a thrill just watching this coaster. When you see the people riding, it is incredible. They LOVE it! They can't get enough! Eventually, doubt started intruding on my determination not to get on 'the Dragster'. That's probably more than enough of a lead-in to what you probably guessed after about the third sentence...I rode 'Top Thrill Dragster'. It was a blur of 17 seconds that ended with an adrenaline rush like no other. The real thrill came from what followed; the emotional high and the satisfaction that comes with facing down an inveterate nemesis. In retrospect, 17 seconds was a small price to pay.

Child Full of Wonder, Wonderful Child

Mother enfolds her daughter's tiny hand,
"Come, take in the wonder of this ageless land."
Daughter beholds every cranny and nook,
From flowering meadow to bubbling brook.
Bare mountain peak, and bustling town,
Various hued people -red, yellow, brown.
Every soul eager to lift one another,
With boundless love for each sister and brother.

Daughter exclaims, "So much beauty to see,
All Creation entwined harmoniously.
But, will I have a place? Will I know what to do,
When I'm on my own path, and I'm no longer with you?"
Mother smiles, "Precious one, have faith in me.
No less than a Queen, one day you'll be.
However, you will encounter Fear,
The root of all suffering, distant and near.

Cling fiercely to Faith with all your might,
Turn blind eyes to Doubt 'til it's swallowed by night.
Rejoice in the glorious abundance of Earth,
Remember Heaven holds all gifts of true worth.
Though your path may be rocky, you may stumble and fall,
Faith, Hope and Love are given to all.
My angel, whether our hands be joined or apart,
I will forever be with you, in your heart."

Keep Your Eye on the Prize

I can feel my consciousness changing. My inner voice is a little less harsh. I am more quick to dismiss self-criticism and to forgive myself and others. But it's an excruciatingly slow process. Just who do you have to know to get some instant self-esteem around here? I want to rub a magic lamp, toss a coin into a wishing well, or hell, I'd settle for a smug, condescending witch from the north to stop by with some ruby slippers. But there is no magic that will summon the whole of the divine wisdom that lies deep within us.  We have to earn it, in bits and pieces, through diligent, exhaustive seeking. The ultimate Almighty has a Plan that only time will reveal. Thankfully, that is one gift I have received in full; complete, unwavering faith that the Plan is good. So, like a prize-fighter, I train every day, mentally sparring with Insecurity, Greed, Ego, and Self-doubt. I can't wait for the day that I am strong enough to deliver a knock-out punch to all of them. For now I can only imagine how I will change the world when I have barrier-free access to love myself completely. Tell me, who or what is blocking you from your victory?

What Do You Think? I'd Really Love To Know

I'm ready to turn a corner. This blog was intended to be an open forum for women of all ages, and it somehow became more of a running op-ed. I appreciate being able to get some things off my chest, and now that my perspective is clearer and my voice feels stronger, here's what I'd like to do:

It's a bit scary, but I am asking for your help. I would love to hear about what you feel like are real issues for women today. From the timeless problem of maintaining our self-esteem, to how new technology is affecting relationships, there are so many things we can help each other with. Just as the power of prayer is exponentially increased when more than one are gathered, we can empower each other immeasurably when we share the collective task of loving ourselves, our family, friends, and one another.

I understand that leaving comments has been a challenge for some, so I will try to explain as best I can. (Honestly, I don't have all the mechanics of this blog down yet) If you click 'comment', you should get a text box that opens up. Type your comment and then go down underneath and you can register a google or yahoo account, or just click on 'anonymous'. Your comment probably won't show up right away, but it should eventually. You can put your name in the comment or remain anonymous by all means.

So now, your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to search your glorious soul, bare it for all of us, and direct all of your fellow goddesses to do the same. Any and all of your input will be appreciated more than you know, just as I love you -more than you know. 

A Few Words From the Next Generation

There's really nothing I'm more proud of than my kids. I have three very amazing, very different kids that I learn from every single day. I'm so excited that this weeks post is written by my 17 year old daughter, Raena:

I had an epiphany about relationships today. There are a lot of different relationships that people have to work with daily; friends, family members, a boyfriend/girlfriend, and more. As a girl in high school I am dealing with all of these types of relationships everyday. They are all affecting me. Something that is becoming very difficult for me is keeping my relationships separate and not letting them interfere with eachother. I can't let my relationship with my mom affect my relationship with my bestfriend. I can't let my relationship with any boy affect my relationship with my mom, and so on. My point is that it is hard for me to keep a relationship positive when another one is turning so negative. But I am gonna learn to keep them separate so I can be a good, happy, positive, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, etc.

Raena, keep doing what you are doing, baby girl. I love you so much!