Put Your Hands in the Air, You're Surrounded

“If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with.” -Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz

Hello again. Let me give this another go. It's been a year and three quarters. Lots has happened. We did sell the house. We did downsize. We are in the process of moving to the other side of the globe. I'm writing this now from the most delightful 17th story apartment facing the southwest skyline of Melbourne, Australia! We (my husband, daughter Raena, and I) have been here for almost 5 days. It's nothing short of glorious.

Despite all the apparent change, one thing remains constant. I'm STILL searching for that elusive Purpose. It's been incredibly discouraging, and yet, salvation seems decidedly near. The answers have been coming with surprising ease and clarity, but what's still lacking is ACTion. I'm back here with you in the hopes that sharing my journey will transform me from dreamer to doer.

And now, with all pleasantries aside, I'd like to spotlight one of the main catalysts for my recent breakthroughs. It's a book called Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David R. Hawkins. It's about detaching from any desired outcome or emotional status. It's quite revolutionary. Trust me, go get it and read it yourself.

That's about it. Although this blurb is pretty much all about me, I still want you to be empowered, enlightened, and engaged. I hope we can encourage each other, and remind each other that everything we need is around us and within us. I must go now, I have things to DO. 

The Simple Life

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." -Hans Hofmann


The Divine voice is getting louder and louder. It's telling me to simplify. Pare down. Slow down, breathe, and focus. My mind is scattered among so many ventures and none of them are going well. I am reading at least five self-help books, and fabulous as each one is, it's too many. I've got several journals going along with the books, and a couple notebooks for business matters. My planner and my phone contain notable lists and dates to attend to. Throw in a house that's too big, a husband I would love to see more of, and three kids who are simultaneously drawn to their independence and clinging to their childhood. Did I mention that I've launched an "Eating Clean in 2015" campaign for myself? So, I'm researching and exploring the world of organic and non-gmo foods, plus trying to make time to exercise, play my guitar and ukulele, keep up with my Toastmasters club, and stay connected to my family and friends. Ooh, and now there's a new book that I want to get my hands on, plus my church is launching a ministerial school. I want to go!

With all these endeavors, the one thing I haven't been doing is writing.

I'm beginning to shed some of the excess. I just sent an email to let my Hospice volunteer coordinator know that I need to take a break. I hated doing it, letting go of something that brought so much inspiration and satisfaction, plus letting people down. Also, I cleaned out my closet. Next will be choosing one book to focus on. Next will be putting the house on the market so we can downsize. (Do you know anyone who's interested in a fixer-upper with a solid foundation, great bones situated on a beautiful lot and a half on the nicest, cleanest lake in Oakland County?) 

On the plus side, I'm gaining clarity. And with each thing I let go of, the stuff that remains gets even better. I'm hoping that it will be an organic process, much like my new diet. The most important things, the things I'm most passionate about, will become more evident. I will get more enjoyment and fulfillment from fewer expectations. When the clutter and background noise is gone, I'll hear that Divine voice singing songs of peace and joy. The key to being a Still Woman. 

To Be Continued....

"To me, imagination is the closest thing we have to compassion. To have compassion you have to be able to imagine the lives of others, including people who are suffering..." -Amy Tan

Well, I have just been perusing my last post, it seems that the feeling of having 'arrived' is one that will ebb and flow. Learning to love myself is turning out to be an ongoing process involving ups and downs, twists and turns, and a whirlwind of emotions. I'm a little dizzy with it all. 
Recently, I've been following a fellow seeker named Jeff Foster, and his ideas and his words have been cataclysmic in my journey. I even ventured out to Boulder, CO for a long weekend to hear him in person. (More on this momentous trip in a later post) The gist of his teachings is learning to be present in this moment, to accept my feelings without judgement, and to practice compassion for myself and others.
I'm struggling to find my voice. I've always been a bit of a mimic, and I'm not sure how to express my true and authentic self. Inspiration is all around me, and the trouble is there are so many people to admire. So many people to emulate. What's marvelous is that they all love me and they're all routing for me.
When I imagine my story, I love not only who I will become, but who I have been, and who I am now.  Understanding that I am a work in progress is the foundation for discovering my authentic self. Understanding that my story is a work in progress is the seed from which an unending field of compassion shall blossom.

The Remains of a Still Woman

"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it." -Jonathon Winters

Why hello again! I've missed you terribly. Since I was here last, it's been a whirlwind of activity, creating our product, crunching numbers, and meeting more awesome people. Aside from dealing with some personnel changes, missing my family, and just plain being ready for the business to be booming, I am thriving. I wasn't exactly sure how to step back into this blog. I feel like a different person. Maybe I should back up and give you a recap of the past few months. In February, we moved into our new space and opened the doors to our business on March 1st. All through March and April, we've been working our asses off trying to spread the word and let people know we're here. (in the high-powered business world, we call it 'marketing'). The days spent grappling with my neuroses, and searching for a smidge of self-esteem seem distant now.  I can hardly believe I get to be a part of this worthwhile enterprise. I'm livin' the dream! It's pretty much everything I've ever wanted... all that's missing is the beach. Of course, there are moments of uncertainty but I now recognize them as opportunities for assessing my direction.
Now that I've managed to progress beyond my paralysis, I'm ready to share the next step. I think this will be good for me to stay grounded as a Still Woman; to maintain grace and humility amid the barrage of spectacular and prolific artistry. These past two years have brought me far. I've learned to cherish the present moment, hold fast to faith, and let go of fear.
A seed in the ground gives no sign of the life that will soon sprout from it. As long as it seeks nourishment, it will continue to prosper and grow until it breaks through the soil and finds the glory of the sun. Our soon-to-be bustling studio is quiet for now, the seeds are being nurtured and fed. I'm enjoying these days that are so pregnant with possibility. While I'm enjoying this present moment, I'll be getting ready for whatever comes next.

The Hardest Hue to Hold

"Begin today. Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy." -Sarah Ban Breathnach

I am having a particularly hard time knowing where to start this post. I have so much to say, and the very ironic part is that this is most likely the end. I could start with telling you how far I have come in the past two years since I quit my medical billing job to write. I could start with what was to become the beginning of the end, back in August of 2013 when I enrolled in my life coach class and signed on to be a part of Thrive. I could wax poetic about being in a constant state of excitement and discomfort in the months since. I guess I will only just offer three simple thoughts. Firstly, no matter your chronological, mental, or emotional state, I highly recommend starting a blog. The few hours per week of self-reflection will bring you clarity. If you happen to be looking for direction, it is especially helpful. Be prepared to embrace the present moment, and to have faith in the process. Secondly, be vigilant about the people you give your time and attention to. Status quo does not equal safety or sufficiency. Which brings me to my final thought. There's very few things I will admit that I can't do. I admit, I just can't adequately express my overwhelming sense of gratitude for you. I am celebrating the many things I have accomplished and choosing to have you in my life tops the list. If you are reading this, I do mean YOU. By the grace of God, and by your light, you have blessed me. Immeasurably. I move forward with the highest intention of giving back. I will pray for you. I will pray for myself that I live up to...I don't know, everything -everything you have done for me. In the words of Johnny from the movie The Outsiders, "Stay gold."

**It's not really the end, I am relocating. My new space will be at www.buildingthrive.com. Hope to see you there!

It's a Win-Win

"Few investments have a higher return than the energy spent cheering for your fellow man." - Kristi Twork

I am an avid fan of many sports teams. I would be hard pressed to declare a favorite, but my Detroit Lions, Tigers, Red Wings, MSU Spartan football and basketball teams are all near and dear to my heart. On game day, I avoid donning my team gear, (it has been proven to be a bad omen), but I am so anxious for a win that I almost can't enjoy watching. My question is: What is the spiritual relevance of watching sports? On one hand, sports can be very divisive, pitting people, even family members and friends, against each other. And while I am cheering on my players, inevitably, I am willing opposing players to make mistakes or fail. Sadly, it is not uncommon for me to need a day or two to shake off the funk of a loss. I have no idea how I get so emotionally invested in the hard work and dedication of complete strangers. On the other hand, sports can bring people together, give hope to vast regions, and lift entire nations. A single feat can inspire a generation of athletes. There's nothing like the surge of energy and exhilaration brought on by a crowd cheering in unison for a home run, a game-winning buzzer beater, or an improbable victory. There's even comfort in sharing the agony of defeat with your fellow fans. I suppose it is for me to balance the opposing aspects of fanaticism. And it is for me to remember that only one victory is anything more than fleeting. The promise of eternal life and God's unconditional love are worthy of a titanic ovation. Every single win and every single loss is part of God's plan. I think that's what makes the game so inspiring. The athlete who devotes her time and energy to becoming a champion, knowing the risk of failure, is an epic hero. Ultimately, her fate is in His hands. It's a commonality we all share and cause for thunderous celebration. You can't beat that.

Project Listen, Learn, and Love

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” - David Augsburger

I often catch myself doing a bad thing: Projecting. It's a terrible habit of assuming that you want what I want. I'm sorry you got stuck with that strawberry sundae instead of chocolate... You didn't go out Friday night, you just laid on the couch and watched movies? Bummer. Only, it turns out, strawberry is your absolute favorite, and -you worked your ass off all week, so you relished staying home. It's all good. Too often, when you are talking to me, I am listening, but with a preconceived notion of how you feel about it, whatever it is. And I worry about you. I worry because you don't have all of the things you surely wish for, you know, -the things I prize most. And sometimes I even feel bad because you don't inherently know what it is that I prize, which invariably leads to some misunderstanding or disappointment. Well, I'm sorry, and I'm working on it. For the past 20 weeks, my life coach class has given me a tremendous lesson in the art of listening. I am learning to be present in professional and personal relationships in a way that is helping me connect to others on a deeper level. It is so thoroughly gratifying to fully listen and hear to the heart of what is being said. I think that is the single greatest wish that we all share, to be heard and truly understood. The irony is that most of us want that so badly that it takes away from our ability to do so for others. When we let go of our assumptions, we have the opportunity to really see the world from a new perspective. And I am finding the cherry on top of letting go of my assumptions is that I am able to more fully receive the gift that is you.