Baby, You're a Star!

When I was a kid, I wanted to be popular so bad. But I wasn't. It's not that people didn't like me, but I was just always kind of in the background. I remember feeling like I was missing out on the action, and there was always somewhere cooler to be (and someone cooler to be with). Ugh, now I hate that word 'popular'. It has so many connotations, it has turned into a negative term.  Instead of it's actual meaning, 'well-liked', the word 'popular' is used to refer to the coolest cliques, kids who are snobby and judgemental. They are hated, but still put up on a pedestal. Fortunately we all mature, and recognize that we don't lift ourselves up by putting other people down. Being well-liked comes from liking ourselves and being comfortable in our own skin. When we feel good about ourselves, we make the people around us feel good and want to be with us.
I'm sure that I didn't make people feel especially good around me when I was younger, and I hope I have grown in that aspect. I would like to take it a step further, as a kind of extension of last week's post. I want to treat everyone like they are a rock star. Well, for me, maybe not a rock star -I want to treat them like my idol, Maya Angelou. For all her gifts and her amazing light, she is after all, a human being. Everyone has their own gifts and amazing light so, the world may not recognize them, but I will. 

Get in the Game

‘Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.’

— Louisa May Alcott

I have this new game to play. It's called 'Find Divine Love', and it will elevate my consciousness and my self-love, and it will bring me closer to God and to my authentic purpose. The game is played simply by trying to love wholly and completely. Everyone and everything. For instance, I love the grocery store cashier, that dude in the car that is weaving in and out of traffic, my friend that sort of makes me feel neglected, even my cat. I love trees, my couch (that's actually a tough one), and my car. You get the picture. But, there is a catch to this game -I cannot win. You see, I am human, and I am innately incapable of Divine Love. I don't think I can even fully grasp the reality of love that is divine, God's all-consuming and unconditional love. But how many games do we play that we know we can't win? Farmville, anyone? So, I am giving up my old game of 'Try to Be Perfect' and I'm trying my hand at this new game. I may not win, but I will be a force to be reckoned with.

Gimme A Shot of Caffeine

I'm exhausted. This spiritual/career evolution is taking a lot out of me. I've lost count how many times in the last four and a half months I have been asked the dreaded question,
"So, are you working?"
I've tried to rehearse a respectable response such as, "yes, I'm self-employed", or "I have a few things I am working on", but mostly what comes out is a feeble, "I'm having trouble getting into a routine".
That's not exactly true. I do have a routine that took years to hone. It's the ABC lineup from 7-10am, than switch over to NBC for Ellen at 10. At 11am, I begin contemplating various productive endeavors... writing, exercising, housecleaning, or shopping? At about 2pm, I give up figuring it's too late to start a project, and I will plan to do it tomorrow if I can get to it. Finally, there's just time for a quick nap before the kids get home from school. Ugh, it's pitiful -and embarassing to admit that is my day.
Sometimes I wish I weren't surrounded by so many amazing, creative, spiritually evolved, and intrinsically exceptional women and men. To know that I am capable of changing the world is heavy. It's exhausting. I think I need a nap.

Touched By The Sun

When darkness invades the depths of my senses,
Dreary becomes the night.
Gladness and joy bide beyond picket fences,
Outside my reach, within hindered sight.

Though I yearn to be doused in the light of hope,
The intruding shadow lingers.
I have fashioned the noose of this hazardous rope,
Let it tighten between my fingers.

Disdain for myself, -scorn for everyone,
Spoils my temper and crop.
If I am to flourish ever touched by the sun,
The madness must come to a stop.

A new journey begins with uncertain gait,
A course set for the light.
Beckoned by a more prosperous fate,
Resolved to abolish my plight.

How astonishing then, the discovery made,
Once I am set free,
The light that overcame the shade,
Came from inside me.