To Be Continued....

"To me, imagination is the closest thing we have to compassion. To have compassion you have to be able to imagine the lives of others, including people who are suffering..." -Amy Tan

Well, I have just been perusing my last post, it seems that the feeling of having 'arrived' is one that will ebb and flow. Learning to love myself is turning out to be an ongoing process involving ups and downs, twists and turns, and a whirlwind of emotions. I'm a little dizzy with it all. 
Recently, I've been following a fellow seeker named Jeff Foster, and his ideas and his words have been cataclysmic in my journey. I even ventured out to Boulder, CO for a long weekend to hear him in person. (More on this momentous trip in a later post) The gist of his teachings is learning to be present in this moment, to accept my feelings without judgement, and to practice compassion for myself and others.
I'm struggling to find my voice. I've always been a bit of a mimic, and I'm not sure how to express my true and authentic self. Inspiration is all around me, and the trouble is there are so many people to admire. So many people to emulate. What's marvelous is that they all love me and they're all routing for me.
When I imagine my story, I love not only who I will become, but who I have been, and who I am now.  Understanding that I am a work in progress is the foundation for discovering my authentic self. Understanding that my story is a work in progress is the seed from which an unending field of compassion shall blossom.

The Remains of a Still Woman

"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it." -Jonathon Winters

Why hello again! I've missed you terribly. Since I was here last, it's been a whirlwind of activity, creating our product, crunching numbers, and meeting more awesome people. Aside from dealing with some personnel changes, missing my family, and just plain being ready for the business to be booming, I am thriving. I wasn't exactly sure how to step back into this blog. I feel like a different person. Maybe I should back up and give you a recap of the past few months. In February, we moved into our new space and opened the doors to our business on March 1st. All through March and April, we've been working our asses off trying to spread the word and let people know we're here. (in the high-powered business world, we call it 'marketing'). The days spent grappling with my neuroses, and searching for a smidge of self-esteem seem distant now.  I can hardly believe I get to be a part of this worthwhile enterprise. I'm livin' the dream! It's pretty much everything I've ever wanted... all that's missing is the beach. Of course, there are moments of uncertainty but I now recognize them as opportunities for assessing my direction.
Now that I've managed to progress beyond my paralysis, I'm ready to share the next step. I think this will be good for me to stay grounded as a Still Woman; to maintain grace and humility amid the barrage of spectacular and prolific artistry. These past two years have brought me far. I've learned to cherish the present moment, hold fast to faith, and let go of fear.
A seed in the ground gives no sign of the life that will soon sprout from it. As long as it seeks nourishment, it will continue to prosper and grow until it breaks through the soil and finds the glory of the sun. Our soon-to-be bustling studio is quiet for now, the seeds are being nurtured and fed. I'm enjoying these days that are so pregnant with possibility. While I'm enjoying this present moment, I'll be getting ready for whatever comes next.

The Hardest Hue to Hold

"Begin today. Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy." -Sarah Ban Breathnach

I am having a particularly hard time knowing where to start this post. I have so much to say, and the very ironic part is that this is most likely the end. I could start with telling you how far I have come in the past two years since I quit my medical billing job to write. I could start with what was to become the beginning of the end, back in August of 2013 when I enrolled in my life coach class and signed on to be a part of Thrive. I could wax poetic about being in a constant state of excitement and discomfort in the months since. I guess I will only just offer three simple thoughts. Firstly, no matter your chronological, mental, or emotional state, I highly recommend starting a blog. The few hours per week of self-reflection will bring you clarity. If you happen to be looking for direction, it is especially helpful. Be prepared to embrace the present moment, and to have faith in the process. Secondly, be vigilant about the people you give your time and attention to. Status quo does not equal safety or sufficiency. Which brings me to my final thought. There's very few things I will admit that I can't do. I admit, I just can't adequately express my overwhelming sense of gratitude for you. I am celebrating the many things I have accomplished and choosing to have you in my life tops the list. If you are reading this, I do mean YOU. By the grace of God, and by your light, you have blessed me. Immeasurably. I move forward with the highest intention of giving back. I will pray for you. I will pray for myself that I live up to...I don't know, everything -everything you have done for me. In the words of Johnny from the movie The Outsiders, "Stay gold."

**It's not really the end, I am relocating. My new space will be at www.buildingthrive.com. Hope to see you there!

It's a Win-Win

"Few investments have a higher return than the energy spent cheering for your fellow man." - Kristi Twork

I am an avid fan of many sports teams. I would be hard pressed to declare a favorite, but my Detroit Lions, Tigers, Red Wings, MSU Spartan football and basketball teams are all near and dear to my heart. On game day, I avoid donning my team gear, (it has been proven to be a bad omen), but I am so anxious for a win that I almost can't enjoy watching. My question is: What is the spiritual relevance of watching sports? On one hand, sports can be very divisive, pitting people, even family members and friends, against each other. And while I am cheering on my players, inevitably, I am willing opposing players to make mistakes or fail. Sadly, it is not uncommon for me to need a day or two to shake off the funk of a loss. I have no idea how I get so emotionally invested in the hard work and dedication of complete strangers. On the other hand, sports can bring people together, give hope to vast regions, and lift entire nations. A single feat can inspire a generation of athletes. There's nothing like the surge of energy and exhilaration brought on by a crowd cheering in unison for a home run, a game-winning buzzer beater, or an improbable victory. There's even comfort in sharing the agony of defeat with your fellow fans. I suppose it is for me to balance the opposing aspects of fanaticism. And it is for me to remember that only one victory is anything more than fleeting. The promise of eternal life and God's unconditional love are worthy of a titanic ovation. Every single win and every single loss is part of God's plan. I think that's what makes the game so inspiring. The athlete who devotes her time and energy to becoming a champion, knowing the risk of failure, is an epic hero. Ultimately, her fate is in His hands. It's a commonality we all share and cause for thunderous celebration. You can't beat that.

Project Listen, Learn, and Love

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” - David Augsburger

I often catch myself doing a bad thing: Projecting. It's a terrible habit of assuming that you want what I want. I'm sorry you got stuck with that strawberry sundae instead of chocolate... You didn't go out Friday night, you just laid on the couch and watched movies? Bummer. Only, it turns out, strawberry is your absolute favorite, and -you worked your ass off all week, so you relished staying home. It's all good. Too often, when you are talking to me, I am listening, but with a preconceived notion of how you feel about it, whatever it is. And I worry about you. I worry because you don't have all of the things you surely wish for, you know, -the things I prize most. And sometimes I even feel bad because you don't inherently know what it is that I prize, which invariably leads to some misunderstanding or disappointment. Well, I'm sorry, and I'm working on it. For the past 20 weeks, my life coach class has given me a tremendous lesson in the art of listening. I am learning to be present in professional and personal relationships in a way that is helping me connect to others on a deeper level. It is so thoroughly gratifying to fully listen and hear to the heart of what is being said. I think that is the single greatest wish that we all share, to be heard and truly understood. The irony is that most of us want that so badly that it takes away from our ability to do so for others. When we let go of our assumptions, we have the opportunity to really see the world from a new perspective. And I am finding the cherry on top of letting go of my assumptions is that I am able to more fully receive the gift that is you.  

Free Bird

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must [say goodbye] to one life before we can enter another" - Anatole France

For most of my adult life, I have held my focus to my family, taking care of my children, my husband, our home, and nurturing relationships with my sisters, mom, dad, and my in-laws. They have been my life-line and, everything I have given, I have received to an immeasurable degree. Now I see my kids preparing to spread their wings with varying degrees of sadness, anxiety, and excitement. They are leaving behind the safety of their nest and looking ahead to a future that is full of things unknown. I too, am venturing out to make a life for me. I'm a bit puzzled by the irony, and at the same time, it feels perfectly natural. Our worlds are about to expand as we forge ahead encountering new people in the form of friends, coworkers, future lovers and spouses (for the kids), and even children, and grandchildren. I will miss having them here, being able to hug them everyday and share the little details of their lives, (everyone knows the little things matter the most). But mostly, I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED! For all of us. And come what may; success, failure, joy, disappointment, -although achieved and experienced individually, always will be shared. I worry about losing the closeness we have, but I know without doubt, that I have their love and support always. And always, they have my heart. -And of course, anything else they need.   

 

Take it Easy

"Choosing easy is smart, efficient, elegant; a fantastic form of self-compassion; giving yourself a break and getting out of your own way. Choosing easy is letting inspiration be your compass. Choosing easy is allowing for the things that you've been asking for to enter your life." - The Firestarter Sessions, Danielle LaPorte

I'm a little uncomfortable in my own skin right now. I am morphing into a person I hardly know. I feel good. About me! I feel certain about -well, everything! It feels so easy. Like, scary disconcerting easy.  (ah, the familiar pang of neuroses) Actually, I'm OK with the voice of doubt, I guess it will always be there. I simply refuse to let it stop me in my tracks. I will listen, then let my intuition steer me where it will. Oh, and guess what else? I feel healthier! I have more energy and a to-do list that I look forward to tackling. That means less time perusing the fridge and pantry for instant gratification. Rather than examine and analyze how I got here (by faith, really), I think I will just put out a great big huge giant THANK YOU. Thank You, God, for hearing every one of my prayers, and for the divine placement of the incredibly passionate people with whom I have the privilege of working with, -or rather, dreaming, growing, and laughing with. Yes, we laugh! God answered that prayer too. Thank you Tammy, Ron, Nancy, and Lisa for sharing your hearts and for loving me. Thank you Mike, for ALL that you do and ALL that you are. Thanks to all of my family and friends for cheering us on. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I fully intend to pay it all forward and then some. There's no limit to what I can accomplish when I choose easy. And if you're curious about the direction I am headed, please check out http://buildingthrive.com/home

 

Greater Than Good

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."- Omar Khayyam

Hey, how's it going? How've you been? How are you? .....How many times a day are you asked a similar question, and what is your typical response? Most times, it is a mechanical word or two, pleasant, pithy, or precocious. What I really want to know is, how ARE you? Do you even know? Do you make time regularly for self-reflection? My prayer for you is that you have the means necessary to look within yourself and answer with elation and/or, at the very least, honesty. I pray you give yourself time and energy to search for your hearts happiness, so that you can answer, "I'm blessed." No? My God, what are you waiting for? And please don't tell me that you don't have time. Time is all that you have, and this moment must be lived to its very fullest. And don't dare leave room for that voice that tries to say you don't deserve it. Bullshit. Nothing could be farther from the truth! You are a child of God. You are the heir and beneficiary to the kingdom of heaven. Take this second, right here, right now, to not only forgive yourself any imagined insufficiency, but also to embrace it. 'Cause guess what? You're not perfect. You never will be, but you are perfect in His eyes and shouldn't that be good enough for you? Now that we have that established, get straight to the business of making you happy: Start with a moment of meditation. Turn right at your first baby step. Pass by several doubts and if you encounter any self-criticism, turn around. When you come to a realization or an 'a-ha' moment, increase your momentum. Most likely you will have to take a leap of faith. There will be detours, setbacks, and inclement weather, however, none of these will keep you from your ultimate destination. Happiness. You will get there with fortitude, fearlessness, and faith. And a little help from your friends. Take it from me, I know. I'm blessed.

Expect Nothing Less

 I want people to walk around delusional about how great they can be - and then to fight so hard for it every day that the lie becomes the truth.” -Lady Gaga

I like to dabble. I have taken up many hobbies that I quite enjoy. Singing, guitar playing, cake decorating, golf, all kinds of crafts, sewing, playing soccer, I have even tried my hand at writing a couple songs. I take some pride in having a wide variety of interests, and I'm better at some of these activities than others. But, I am not great at any of them. I could ponder a good long while figuring out why, but ultimately it comes down to where my heart and my passion lie. I wish I was great at something, -anything. Alas, I am painfully  conscious of how my level of expectation affects my level of motivation. I never mind being a beginner. The first few tries are always cause for celebration. I don't expect to be a virtuoso, it just feels good dipping my toe in the water, no matter if the results are a bit sloppy. But a sad thing happens as time goes by and I gain experience; my expectations rise. That's when I get discouraged. I lose my heart and my passion. I can remind myself again and again that people who are great at what they do spend years devoted  solely to their dream. Still, I am easily swayed and easily distracted. I realize it takes more than time and talent to be truly great though. It takes a steel will and the serendipitous discovery of finding the precise juncture where physical capability meets heart's desire. That truly is a rare thing. So maybe the odds are stacked against me. I may never be great at anything. Still, I am interested to see where my dreams plus some hard work and determination will take me. That and my great expectations.

Beauty Is In the Mind of the Beheld

"Beauty is the opposite of perfection. It's about confidence, charisma, and character." -#Nordstrom

Last night, Dateline aired an episode featuring four young people who were all considering plastic surgery. Each of them felt extremely low self-esteem and had felt bullied to varying extents because of their looks. At first sight, these young men and women each had some prominent and remarkable facial feature that stood out. However, after hearing them talk for only a few moments, those features receded to the background, and their hearts shone through. Sadly, most of us can relate to feeling like a freak in some way or another. In our society, Barbie doll looks are revered, and we go to great lengths to achieve them. Even men have succumbed and these days, tanned, hairless, manicured model is the new prototype. Me, I am on a mission. I want our children to learn at the earliest age possible that beauty comes from within. It comes from loving yourself. And if you insist on limiting that label to some physical attribute, then look into my eyes.  It is almost impossible to look into someone's eyes and not see their soul. Love, compassion, joy, pain, hope, humor; all the beauty of living is visible in our eyes. I'm not sure how we regress from childhood through middle-age -when we are considered past our prime physical attributes, and forget what it means to be beautiful. Somewhere in those pre-adolescent years, our own beauty becomes shrouded in a massive cloud of judgment. Suddenly, all that matters is looking like everyone else. And when we don't, we compensate by doing like everyone else. And it takes decades to overcome the trauma of being analyzed, criticized, judged, and denied by the one who truly matters. Yourself. We waste years searching for our misplaced self-esteem. We can't remember the last time we had it, but we think we might have left it in someone else's hands back in middle school. Still can't find it? Ok, go ahead and do your hair and make-up. Put on something pretty. Admire your efforts and then get right up to the mirror and look yourself in the eyes. There it is. That's funny, your beauty has been there the whole time.