New Year Zeal

“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.”
― G.K. Chesterton
I feel pretty good. We survived the whole 12-21-12 thing (which I didn't get to mention because I missed posting last week, you know, because it was Christmas Eve), I am enjoying a break from the usual routine and spending lots of time with my family. And I am so looking forward to the New Year. A new beginning, full of resolutions, promises and plans for life improvement. It's hard to know where to begin. I know from past experience that resolutions are little more than good intentions and have an average life span of 1 - 21 days. Still, no harm can come from reaching for the stars. Every passing year, every ambition lifts me closer to the heavens. The Plan is in full swing, and I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store. If it brings as much joy and abundance as 2012, it will be fantastic. How many steps nearer will I be to my dreams? Leaps and bounds beyond the uncertainty and trepidation of years past. With gratitude for the gifts I have been given (that you are to be counted among), I receive with open arms the gifts to come.

Wax On, Wax Off

What is going on? I am surrounded by family and friends who are suffering deep anguish by means of various personal circumstances. The intricate mechanics of our hearts require the gentlest of handling. But, how can I support the people I love so much with compassion and sympathy while I know full well that their pain stems from lies? We have accepted false assumptions about our conditions and immersed ourselves in an illusion of imperfection. I and my peers are wholly emotionally invested in the happiness and well-being of our children and family members. We are certain catastrophe is moments away unless we intervene. False, fraudulent, don't buy it, no way. The Truth is, the Plan is good. We are not perfect, but God is. Adversity is education, whether it is your lesson or theirs (often times, it is both). If only I could channel my inner Mr. Miyagi. Find the appropriate tools and stand back while my 'student' learns what to do with them. I am actually panic-stricken as I write this. The last thing I want is to shrug off problems that are very real to the people I care most about. Moments of doubt are inevitable in the course of our existence, but an abiding awareness of God's perfect plan ensures an abundance of peace, and even joy.  

The Perfect Gift

It's that time of year again, -the time for celebrating the sacred birth of Jesus, gathering together with family and friends, and holding close the spirit of joy, peace, and love. It is also the time for frantic preparation, shopping for gifts, putting up decorations, sending cards, and juggling activities. No complaints here though. I am old enough to keep it all in perspective and I no longer hold myself to any unrealistic expectations to do 'it all'. I did come to a sad realization however, while I was brainstorming gift ideas. As much as I love and cherish each and every person on my list, I'm just not sure what they want. I know I'm not alone, and it is the age-old dilemma that makes us all question the sanity of exchanging gifts with someone, gifts that neither person really wants. The practical solution is gift cards or even cash, but that appears impersonal. I love the saying "it's the thought that counts". It kind of means 'it didn't cost a lot of money', and/or 'it was a good effort that just fell short'. If it were truly the thought that counted, most of us would receive treasure beyond measure on Christmas morning. Unfortunately, we rack our brains and then end up settling on a gift because time runs out. The best gift anyone can receive is one that lets us know the giver really knows us. So, why not give an Outpouring of Love? A letter, photo, or song that has personal meaning, connects you and can be held close or easily accessed, will be cherished for a lifetime. It's just a thought.

It's Not Just a Dream

5 Simple Steps To Following Your Passion: (an amalgam of ideas shamelessly plagiarized from various brilliant authors and humbly offered for your benefit and mine)

1. What do you love? The things that get you really worked up and excited are calling you to take action. No matter how simple or complex, big issues or trivial pursuits, if it gets your heart pumping, then set your mind on it. I guarantee that you will touch people and change lives when your heart is on fire.

2. Set a long term goal. Envision the life you would live if money was no option. How would you spend your day? Where would you live? Include as many details as possible.

3. Set a short term goal. Take one small step toward your long term goal. Give yourself a time limit and a reward for completing your goal. When complete, repeat the process with a new short term goal.

4. Establish an affirmative routine. It could be any regularly scheduled interval (daily, weekly, etc...) and by the means you find most effective. One example is writing down an affirmation, "I am a professionally published writer" and posting it on your bathroom mirror to look at and repeat each morning.

5. Keep trying! Understand that success is not determined by the ease of your accomplishment. Failure is our biggest learning opportunity and the barriers you encounter should never be construed as an indication that you are not meant to succeed.

Your passion is God's purpose for you. It's your highest calling and should not be ignored or postponed. Following a dream is the most unselfish thing you can do. Your life will be fuller than you can imagine and the peace and happiness it brings to you will be contagious.

This Little Light of Mine

Disclaimer: Please indulge my repetitious claims of abundance. I affirm my awe and appreciation daily, and strongly encourage you to proclaim it for yourself. You will soon find it unquestionably manifest in your life. 
I am oh, so blessed. I have a very hard-working, talented husband who has provided our family with a very comfortable lifestyle. I tell our kids repeatedly how lucky we are not to have to worry about money. We are not exorbitantly wealthy, but we do have plenty, so as Forrest Gump says, "that's good, one less thing" (to worry about). But, now that we have a daughter in college, we are forced to be much more careful with our budget. It has been an adjustment for us, however, I have discovered a huge unexpected benefit. I am proving to be a strong and faithful servant, more fully aware and appreciative of all that I have. When I find myself worrying, or catch myself thinking or saying "we have no money", I stop and I tell myself, "we have plenty".
"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
I have always led a charmed life, and wondered how I would hold up under adversity. I still have a charmed life and I know that I am ridiculously blessed. I can only imagine what it would be like to really deal with poverty, hunger, abuse or tragedy. Those are real problems that affect people everywhere, every day. My wounds are only superficial, requiring no invasive procedure or intensive therapy, still, I am empowered by the small hint of resiliency within myself. It is giving me the means and the desire to aim higher, and accomplish more than what I had previously thought possible.

Reap Your Rewards

Yes, the Plan is good. God radiates from my center and I see God radiating within you, no matter what you are centered on. I am unceasingly thankful for the extraordinary people in my life who challenge me to be real. They light my path and fuel my conviction to make the world a better place. In an earlier entry, I mentioned a growing attraction to taking a vow of silence. Upon review of this idea, I have developed a more accurate term and put into practice, a 'penchant for shutting up'. I still love the idea of a vow of silence and I will effectuate it God knows when, but for now I am reveling in this kind-of-being-quiet thing.
“Every person in this life has something to teach me--and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening.”, -Catherine Doucette
I am learning a fantastic amount about myself just by listening. Even better, opportunity is percolating and I can just feel it, something is happening. Something really good. I hope you are at a point in your spiritual journey that you have faith that something sensational is happening for you too. Let us, in this passage of Thanksgiving, open our hearts and our minds to harvest the bounty of our spiritual gardens. Give thanks for all the good that is in store.

No Turning Back

When's the last time you went to church? By various definitions, 'church' may refer to a building, a program of religious service , or a body of people. I'd like to add my very own definition: a verb meaning, 'to be spiritually uplifted'. I'm about to get righteous here and tell you, when you've been to Renaissance Unity Church in Warren, MI, you've been churched. In addition to the phenomenal, outstanding, and just utterly awesome music you will hear, Rev. Jim Lee will move you with his heartfelt, insightful, and witty messages. (Picture Chris Rock meets the Dalai Lama.) As the supreme cherry-on-top, RU offers a range of classes that will blow your mind and broaden your spiritual horizon.
This is my story, written for a class I'm currently taking:

My hope is in Knowing*. Every lesson I've ever learned is leading

me to a place that I can rest in the Knowing. I no longer have to

'try', worry, strive to do more, know more, or be more.

I am everything, and I am nothing. I am one word in the Master-

Piece that God has written. He knows my meaning and my intention.

It is independantly grand, yet shaped by every single word that

He has authored, Past, Present, and Future.

My identity is not in my thoughts, words, actions, or my

physical body. I am an infinite expression of God's love that is

inextricably woven into His Creation. My Knowing will bring

hope and peace to others.

I am the light of God.

for more information, go to www.renaissanceunity.org/

*Knowing the Truth, that God lives in me and through me. He lives in and through you, and all that He has created. "It's all God, it's all Good."

 









You're All Right

I always forget how excited people get at election time. Tomorrow we must make a crucial decision that will determine the course of our near future; quite reasonable causation for a certain level of hysteria. I am truly awed by those who passionately declare their alliance and are willing to step in the ring for their beliefs. However, I choose to remain passive and open, gleaning information from various sources until I have a sense of who I best relate to.
Both sides advocate tolerance, and would agree on the surface that "it takes all kinds". More aptly expressed by American author Benjamin Hoff, "it takes all kinds to make a mess." Too often, we put our personal beliefs ahead of a sincere desire to contribute to a Utopian paradigm. We are so 'right' that we forget to connect as children of God, all ultimately hoping to raise our children and grow old in a compassionate and prosperous commonwealth. 
All campaigning aside, we must have faith that our leaders share our hopes and dreams. No matter which side of the issues they land on, no matter the path they take to get there, we all will converge in a place of shared  ideals.
I am not nearly educated enough to plead for any cause save one: You can affect change tomorrow by checking off a box, but you can affect change everyday by understanding how we are all connected.  Historically, socially, politically, -and humanly.

How Can I Help You?

If I've said it once, I've said it fifty times....you can't tell anybody anything. Don't we always want to solve everyone elses problems? We see people we love making mistakes that are certain to cause them pain, and we want to warn them.
      "Listen, I know. I've been there. I was in the same situation and here's how I wish I would have handled it. It would have been so much easier. You're welcome."
Rarely, though, do we hear a "thank you." Our loved one is hardly listening because he/she is too busy thinking about how you don't and could not possibly understand. Not really, because his/her situation is very unique and especially troublesome. Nothing you are suggesting will work because there are far too many obstacles to overcome. This particular problem is going to take a great deal of time and energy, and even then, it may never go away.
If only they would listen. It is bewildering to hear about all the people who get angry when the people they love make mistakes. We are offended when our sage advice is waved off, and we are frightened by the consequences. That's why even the most loving relationships are so very complicated. When we are caught up in our pain, all we really want or need from eachother is to be listened to and understood. Realize this, the only problems we will ever solve is our own. Giving each other room to make mistakes is the ultimate act of love and acceptance. If I can't solve your problem, I will be there straight away with a great deal of chocolate, and an armload of tissue, and I will cry with you. You're welcome.

Under-Pressured

I love to drive. On a beautiful sunny day, there is nothing better than cruising down the highway with the music blaring, soaking in all of Creation. I always imagine all the places I could go on a whim if I just kept on driving. It's gloriously liberating! ...However, I have a huge problem with being the passenger. There is no end to the looming dangers of riding in the car anywhere but the driver's seat. My anxiety level sky rockets, and every year I get older, it gets worse. I worry that the driver isn't paying attention, I worry that an oncoming or merging car is going to pull out in front of us, I worry that the car in the next lane is going to drift into us, I worry about hitting pedestrians, motorcycles, and animals. I worry, worry, worry. I realize this fear is mostly irrational, and I try hard to keep myself in check, but I frequently cannot stop myself from gripping the door handle or suddenly sucking in my breath. I'm sure it's very disconcerting (and annoying) to the driver, I just can't help it. And I don't consider myself a control freak, at least, over and above what is normal. I mean, most of us prefer to be in control. I just think I have fallen into a too-comfortable life. For a mom of teenagers, I have very little stress, which is not entirely good. Stress is really the pressure to perform to a certain standard. We all need a balance between pushing ourselves to be the absolute best we can be and enjoying the fruits of our labors. I have resisted taking on activities that might create strain or discomfort, so now, I challenge myself. I'm heading into uncharted territory knowing I am strong enough to withstand a storm. Gonna let God take the driver's seat, and just imagine all the places I will go.

Switch It, Change It (Rearrange It)

In 1999, we demolished our home to build a new one. After a painstaking, and surprisingly mathematic process, we chose an open house plan (open floor plans are highly over-rated in my opinion, unless you have parties like 5 days a week) that met all but one of our criteria (a three car garage). Shortly after we moved in to our newly built home, it became apparent that the furniture arrangement was far from ideal. The living room is long and narrow, therefore, the seating  area was long and narrow making conversation awkward. I've spent the last 11-1/2 years racking my brain for ideas to solve this conundrum. There just didn't seem to be any other practical arrangement. Finally, about a month ago, we bought new furniture and I vowed to make my living space more user friendly. I still didn't have a plan, but I had a spare evening and a reluctant husband to help me. Together, we just started moving things around. After three hours of swapping places, removing, replacing, sliding, and angling 2 recliners, a couch, a bench seat, and entertainment center, we did it. My new living room is perfect for chatting, tv viewing, and is even open to the kitchen area. Revolutionary. There's not a bad seat in the house.
It occurs to me that I can approach most of my issues with this tactic. Instead of waiting for a perfect solution to develop in my head, I need to just start trying stuff. There's no need to commit to any arrangement until I'm satisfied that I have just what I want, or at least some improvement. It might even take less than a decade to stumble across the answer to my next problem.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

"Love is often the fruit of marriage"- Moliere

So I guess the current divorce rate is just under 40%. That number could be considered high or low, depending on your perspective. It is not so tragic that two people who planned a future together changed their minds. Odds are that two people in love could mature and grow apart instead of together. Everyone trips and falls now and then, but 'as long as you both shall live' is too much to pay for any mistake. Whether you consider marriage a legal union or a holy matrimony, most would agree divorce is not the ideal. Better to avoid the pain of letting go of a dream that's been long gone. Dividing assets and redefining relationships is only a start to the struggles that can take a lifetime to sort through. I confess, it's hard for me to speak to this particular issue; I've been relatively charmed in the romance department. I've never had my heart broken, and I married a good man who still doesn't seem to be sick of me even after 26 years. We have an amazing life together. But plainly and simply, it's been hard. There's just no way to get around that. And here's what I have learned. The only way to have a healthy, happy relationship is to know that you will be truly okay without eachother. It is easy to hate someone whom you have pinned your entire future on. When you make anyone else responsible for your happiness, you lose yourself. You may be fortunate to have a co-pilot on your journey, but if you leave the helm to let him steer, don't be surprised when you end up miles from your destination. Through no fault of his own, he will be the scapegoat of all your anger, resentment and insecurity. Then, add guilt, because you love this man, yet you can't be  nice to him. He will be bewildered and confused. You will hate him even more. That's not good. No, nooo, no, I do not hate my husband. We have managed to respectfully and intentionally navigate those choppy waters, and I am learning to look within to know who I am. I'm excited for the trials and triumphs of the next 26 years with the love of my life. But if it doesn't happen, I will be okay.

If I Were to Speak the Truth

Often, these days, I find myself lamenting the fact that so much of our everyday communication requires speech. Being a self-proclaimed social klutz, I far prefer writing as a means of expression, that way I can organize my thoughts and self-edit. The very nature of a neurotic, over-sensitive, sanctimonious, manic, (not to mention frequently pre-menstrual) woman is to mentally stumble over her thoughts, blurt them out to minimize the awkard silence, immediately replay them in her mind to scan for inadvertent offenses...and then wonder why nobody listens. I really don't mean all this to sound self-depracating, I am fully aware of the cornucopia of gifts that I bear. I am ridiculously blessed with family and friends who value and love me. They are my light and my inspiration everyday. I just need a release from the constant self-imposed pressure to be Perfect. And I need to find a way to be Me without performing. I have come so far in my journey, and the light of the Truth is within my grasp. Spirit has planted this notion of silence, and although it is a mere seed of an idea, I want to learn more about quieting my voice to better hear the voices of others and to follow God's call to Him.
"Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came." Adlai E. Stevenson

For a wonderful commentary on this topic, go to:http://www.highexistence.com/my-vow-of-silence-and-why-you-should-try-a-silent-vacation/

Hakuna Matata, It Means No Worries

I want to go back to Disney World. I sincerely hope that you've been lucky enough to experience the wonderful world of Disney. It has a valid claim as the "happiest place on earth".  For starters, the daily parades are packed with fanciful characters, joyful songs, and a non-stop cavalcade of contagious cheer. (As opposed to the last few parades that I have sat through consisting of a slew of hopeful politicians passing out propaganda, and various logo-emblazoned commercial vehicles hurling Laffy Taffy and Dum-Dum suckers.) Also, the continually piped music at the park gives one the distinct sensation of living out a delightful movie montage. Entertainment and amenities abound, along with supreme service from retail sales persons to street sweepers who are all seemingly devoted to your every whim. The rides, the attractions, the fireworks, and the iconic Disney characters all culminate in the sacred phenomenon that is commonly referred to as 'living in the moment'. Disney's brand of hospitality gives visitors a chance to escape the worry and self-reproach that occupy our daily thoughts. There's really no other way to be authentically happy than to release guilt and fear, and truly cherish the present moment. After all, yesterday is in the past, and tomorrow will never come. The present moment is all we have, now and forever. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my, what a wonderful day!

That Makes Perfect Sense (Part 6, Finale)

That was fun. I hope you enjoyed the homage to our five senses. God's way is marvelous indeed. But, wait a minute, I'm not done. We have one more sense that is surpassingly miraculous. It is our sixth sense, -a woman's intuition, -a gut feeling. Whatever you call it, it is the whisper of our soul.
"Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation."- Eileen Caddy
Intuition is the greatest vessel of unwaivering faith. There is no logic whatsoever to the notion of a divine being, but those who follow their faith can attest to the actuality of a God who has a Plan for each of us, believer and non-believer alike. (It's a great plan, don't worry.) A friend recently remarked on the overwhelming emotion he feels when he hears the classic hymn "How Great Thou Art". I understood perfectly. Even though it would seem intangible, I understood because I have felt it. When you hear the swell of 'then sings my soul...', there is a distinct physical sensation of being lifted up to Joy. I know Joy is not a definitive destination that can be navigated by Mapquest, but it is the place in your heart where you experience God. When you hear something, see something, feel something, taste or smell something glorious, you are transported there. It's where He becomes a natural and absurdly obvious certainty. And that's the true gift of our five senses.

Just A Touch of Love (Part 5)

I am stating -without valid references or credentials -that a nurturing touch is one of our basic, most primal needs. Whether it comes from your spouse, your best friend, or your cat, a touch is imperative to our emotional, and therefore, spiritual well-being. If you have not yet done so, please peruse Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Chapman asserts that a relationship thrives when we communicate in our partner's love language, and when our partner does the same for us. Your love language may be; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. For me, physical touch tops the list. When my husband touches me, I feel content to the core of my being. Although we have been lovers for 26 years and our public (and private) displays of affection may not be as passionate as they once were, all my troubles melt away the moment he strokes my hair or rubs my back. The sentiment is full-on sappy, but I know that you know what I'm talking about.
And I'm surprised my three teen-aged children don't run the other way the minute they see me, knowing full well they will routinely be subjected to a hug about ten times a day. I think they realize that I need, I mean, I need  those hugs. Anyway, thanks, guys. I just don't think my husband is aware that the kids have been my primary outlet of affection for the past 19 years, and that when they leave us, he may not get a moment of peace. I hope he doesn't mind. I guess if he does, there's always the cats.

What You See Is What You Get (Part 4)

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've seen some things. I've seen incredible, magnificent, awesome things that affirm my faith like nothing could. I'm sure you have too, but the thing is that, much like taste, vision is a sense on which we are likely to over-rely. When you have several sore parts of your body, you may only notice the most painful area. Similarly, our vision can distract us from realizing that there is immeasurable incoming information that has been discounted or missed altogether. (Magicians rely on it.) We spend far too much time analyzing what we see, when we should be acutely conscious of how we feel. So many people and things are exquisite for the effect they have on us, far beyond their mere appearance.
For a short time (too too long) my guilty pleasure was watching Toddlers and Tiaras. This program on TLC documents beauty pageant contestants and their mothers who are hell-bent on claiming the Ultimate Grand Supreme Title. It's a train wreck of a show that makes me want to rescue these little girls who are being prostituted to redeem their mothers' lack of self-worth. While children can have fun and gain confidence by performing, dancing, and claiming their innate beauty, watching them be judged for fake hair, fake teeth, and an overabundance of ruffles just made me feel -ugly. There is a lesson for us all. Put your beauty on display. Sing, dance, smile. Love being yourself, but do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever ever ever change one thing about yourself for the judges.

Good Taste is Over-rated (Part 3)

Umami. (pronounced like ooh-mommy) This is a term for our 'fifth flavor sense', the others being; bitter, sweet, salty, and sour. Umami refers to a savory taste. Who knew? Many of you, possibly, but this is utterly new information to me. I like it. To me, it feels sort of spiritual. (You know how I love my metaphors.) Umami represents a conglomeration of flavors that give an overall satisfying sensation, and wouldn't each of us like to believe that we can be a small part of some overall good?
I do delight in an endless array of flavors -to a fault. In a way, taste is one of the most powerful senses we have been given. It is one that is easily over-indulged and therefore, must be enjoyed with the most self-control. How bittersweet that such pleasure must be overcome. As much as I love to eat, I am gaining new appreciation for my other non-tasting senses. Instead of reaching into the fridge or pantry when I feel sad, happy, lonely, bored, etc., there are other senses to satiate. I can treat myself in ways that won't end with regret, self-condemnation, or type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.
Delightful music, fragrant candles, a cozy blanket, and a delicious book. Mmm, the taste of contentment.

Smells Like Nostalgia (Part 2)

Take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Take one more. What does it smell like? What emotions come over you? I can smell the toast and eggs that my daughter just made herself for breakfast, my coffee sitting next to me, and the general odor that is unique to my home. Toast is one of my favorite smells, it's so timeless. It takes me right back to my own childhood munching on toast in front of the Saturday morning cartoons.
There have been countless scientific studies on the ability of certain scents to evoke  strong memories. What part of the brain causes this phenomenon, what senses are responsible for the most powerful recollection, the Proust Effect, and so on, and so forth. While all of this is fascinating indeed, I like the assertion made by Christopher Brosius, (founder of IHatePerfume), “Smell doesn’t really evoke memory, it evokes the emotion we felt at the time that caused the memory ...in the first place.”*
One of the most transcendental experiences I have ever had came on a quite ordinary summer evening when my husband and I were driving home from I don't remember where. I closed my eyes (I was in the passenger seat), laid my head back, and just smelled. From the highway dotted with restaurants and businesses, through the suburban neighborhoods into my driveway, the array of aromas was -as a writer I must apologize for this adjective -indescribable. You must try this. No matter the time or place, in a matter of minutes, you will find proof that ordinary can be remarkable and mundane can be magical.

*Taken from an article posted on YouBeauty, Scent and Memory, Familiar Smells Evoke Forgotten Feelings, by Nadia Goodman

Sound Reflections (Part 1)

I never cease to marvel at God's phenomenal Design, particularly, the human organism. The vessel of life, every sense requires millions of tasks to be performed diligently and flawlessly. It is the foundation of our very existence. For the sake of introspection, (always for the sake of introspection) I am starting a series of discussions on our sensory experience. To begin....sense of sound.
Consider what your sense of hearing means to you. Beyond the voices of our loved ones, so many sounds can lift us up.  For me, I have always loved the sound of a wooden screen door closing, the ting of the seat belt on/off indicator on an airplane, and the throaty rumble of a muscle car's engine. And I swear, after 44 years, I could now stand outside anywhere in Mid-Michigan and tell what month it is just by listening to the sounds of nature. 
And then, there is music. The sound that makes the thought of losing my hearing unbearable. How a song can move my soul, bring on tears of joy or sadness, fill me with hope or wonder or purpose. No other man-made marvel can connect people so quickly and resolutely.
Consider the assertion made in an article by Angela Morrow, The Journey Towards Death on About.com, "It is widely believed that hearing is the last sense to go..."
I know that beyond death, there is inconceivable life, but it is hard to imagine any sound in heaven that could rival what is 'hear' on earth.

My Two Masters

My emotional health is completely out of synch with my physical health. While I am trying to convince myself that I am evolving spiritually and connecting with my inner goddess, my body is betraying me. I can't seem to stop gaining weight, and it's getting harder and harder to feel okay about how I look.
Ok, ok, I know enough to know that nothing is out of synch. I am battling depression -probably the seed of empty nest syndrome, or maybe just an ordinary mid-life crisis.  Funny, though, how the heart and mind can be committed to an enlightened destination, while the subconscious is busy crossing wires, altering the coordinates and sabotaging the entire journey. I am really really trying to not be so hard on myself, then I heard something great at church. (don't you just love church? ...if you don't then you are at the wrong one)
From Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."
The verse refers to God and Wealth as two opposing masters, but it struck me that it's God and Ego that divide me. It's just a realization with no resolution, but understanding a problem is always key to finding an answer. Hopefully, (thank You, God, for Hope) the answer is just around the corner. I'm going to acknowledge my problem, ask for support from the people who love me, and never give up on myself. I'm glad to not be alone, and I rejoice that there is always hope.

Fear Itself

Are you familiar with Cedar Point... "America's Roller Coast.-Ride On"? Ranked as one of the top amusement parks in the world, we are fortunate to live 2-1/2 hours away, and so we get there once a year on average. In 2003, Cedar Point debuted an insane coaster named 'Top Thrill Dragster'. Riders are propelled at a speed of 120 mph to a height of 420', then straight back down all in 17 seconds. Feel free to pause in your reading, open a new tab, google it and watch a video of this ride. The first time I set eyes on it, I made a mental proclamation, "I do not need to get on that ride, just watching it is thrilling enough. Period. End of idea."  Each year, I would repeat that mantra, throwing in additional affirmations such as, "that can't be healthy for any human body", and "I'm not waiting an hour in line for a ride that only lasts 17 seconds." But, as a genius marketing ploy, (or as a cruel taunt), Cedar Point has an actual grand stand for spectators that I could never resist, because, well, it truly is a thrill just watching this coaster. When you see the people riding, it is incredible. They LOVE it! They can't get enough! Eventually, doubt started intruding on my determination not to get on 'the Dragster'. That's probably more than enough of a lead-in to what you probably guessed after about the third sentence...I rode 'Top Thrill Dragster'. It was a blur of 17 seconds that ended with an adrenaline rush like no other. The real thrill came from what followed; the emotional high and the satisfaction that comes with facing down an inveterate nemesis. In retrospect, 17 seconds was a small price to pay.

Child Full of Wonder, Wonderful Child

Mother enfolds her daughter's tiny hand,
"Come, take in the wonder of this ageless land."
Daughter beholds every cranny and nook,
From flowering meadow to bubbling brook.
Bare mountain peak, and bustling town,
Various hued people -red, yellow, brown.
Every soul eager to lift one another,
With boundless love for each sister and brother.

Daughter exclaims, "So much beauty to see,
All Creation entwined harmoniously.
But, will I have a place? Will I know what to do,
When I'm on my own path, and I'm no longer with you?"
Mother smiles, "Precious one, have faith in me.
No less than a Queen, one day you'll be.
However, you will encounter Fear,
The root of all suffering, distant and near.

Cling fiercely to Faith with all your might,
Turn blind eyes to Doubt 'til it's swallowed by night.
Rejoice in the glorious abundance of Earth,
Remember Heaven holds all gifts of true worth.
Though your path may be rocky, you may stumble and fall,
Faith, Hope and Love are given to all.
My angel, whether our hands be joined or apart,
I will forever be with you, in your heart."

Keep Your Eye on the Prize

I can feel my consciousness changing. My inner voice is a little less harsh. I am more quick to dismiss self-criticism and to forgive myself and others. But it's an excruciatingly slow process. Just who do you have to know to get some instant self-esteem around here? I want to rub a magic lamp, toss a coin into a wishing well, or hell, I'd settle for a smug, condescending witch from the north to stop by with some ruby slippers. But there is no magic that will summon the whole of the divine wisdom that lies deep within us.  We have to earn it, in bits and pieces, through diligent, exhaustive seeking. The ultimate Almighty has a Plan that only time will reveal. Thankfully, that is one gift I have received in full; complete, unwavering faith that the Plan is good. So, like a prize-fighter, I train every day, mentally sparring with Insecurity, Greed, Ego, and Self-doubt. I can't wait for the day that I am strong enough to deliver a knock-out punch to all of them. For now I can only imagine how I will change the world when I have barrier-free access to love myself completely. Tell me, who or what is blocking you from your victory?

What Do You Think? I'd Really Love To Know

I'm ready to turn a corner. This blog was intended to be an open forum for women of all ages, and it somehow became more of a running op-ed. I appreciate being able to get some things off my chest, and now that my perspective is clearer and my voice feels stronger, here's what I'd like to do:

It's a bit scary, but I am asking for your help. I would love to hear about what you feel like are real issues for women today. From the timeless problem of maintaining our self-esteem, to how new technology is affecting relationships, there are so many things we can help each other with. Just as the power of prayer is exponentially increased when more than one are gathered, we can empower each other immeasurably when we share the collective task of loving ourselves, our family, friends, and one another.

I understand that leaving comments has been a challenge for some, so I will try to explain as best I can. (Honestly, I don't have all the mechanics of this blog down yet) If you click 'comment', you should get a text box that opens up. Type your comment and then go down underneath and you can register a google or yahoo account, or just click on 'anonymous'. Your comment probably won't show up right away, but it should eventually. You can put your name in the comment or remain anonymous by all means.

So now, your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to search your glorious soul, bare it for all of us, and direct all of your fellow goddesses to do the same. Any and all of your input will be appreciated more than you know, just as I love you -more than you know. 

A Few Words From the Next Generation

There's really nothing I'm more proud of than my kids. I have three very amazing, very different kids that I learn from every single day. I'm so excited that this weeks post is written by my 17 year old daughter, Raena:

I had an epiphany about relationships today. There are a lot of different relationships that people have to work with daily; friends, family members, a boyfriend/girlfriend, and more. As a girl in high school I am dealing with all of these types of relationships everyday. They are all affecting me. Something that is becoming very difficult for me is keeping my relationships separate and not letting them interfere with eachother. I can't let my relationship with my mom affect my relationship with my bestfriend. I can't let my relationship with any boy affect my relationship with my mom, and so on. My point is that it is hard for me to keep a relationship positive when another one is turning so negative. But I am gonna learn to keep them separate so I can be a good, happy, positive, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, etc.

Raena, keep doing what you are doing, baby girl. I love you so much!

Baby, You're a Star!

When I was a kid, I wanted to be popular so bad. But I wasn't. It's not that people didn't like me, but I was just always kind of in the background. I remember feeling like I was missing out on the action, and there was always somewhere cooler to be (and someone cooler to be with). Ugh, now I hate that word 'popular'. It has so many connotations, it has turned into a negative term.  Instead of it's actual meaning, 'well-liked', the word 'popular' is used to refer to the coolest cliques, kids who are snobby and judgemental. They are hated, but still put up on a pedestal. Fortunately we all mature, and recognize that we don't lift ourselves up by putting other people down. Being well-liked comes from liking ourselves and being comfortable in our own skin. When we feel good about ourselves, we make the people around us feel good and want to be with us.
I'm sure that I didn't make people feel especially good around me when I was younger, and I hope I have grown in that aspect. I would like to take it a step further, as a kind of extension of last week's post. I want to treat everyone like they are a rock star. Well, for me, maybe not a rock star -I want to treat them like my idol, Maya Angelou. For all her gifts and her amazing light, she is after all, a human being. Everyone has their own gifts and amazing light so, the world may not recognize them, but I will. 

Get in the Game

‘Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.’

— Louisa May Alcott

I have this new game to play. It's called 'Find Divine Love', and it will elevate my consciousness and my self-love, and it will bring me closer to God and to my authentic purpose. The game is played simply by trying to love wholly and completely. Everyone and everything. For instance, I love the grocery store cashier, that dude in the car that is weaving in and out of traffic, my friend that sort of makes me feel neglected, even my cat. I love trees, my couch (that's actually a tough one), and my car. You get the picture. But, there is a catch to this game -I cannot win. You see, I am human, and I am innately incapable of Divine Love. I don't think I can even fully grasp the reality of love that is divine, God's all-consuming and unconditional love. But how many games do we play that we know we can't win? Farmville, anyone? So, I am giving up my old game of 'Try to Be Perfect' and I'm trying my hand at this new game. I may not win, but I will be a force to be reckoned with.

Gimme A Shot of Caffeine

I'm exhausted. This spiritual/career evolution is taking a lot out of me. I've lost count how many times in the last four and a half months I have been asked the dreaded question,
"So, are you working?"
I've tried to rehearse a respectable response such as, "yes, I'm self-employed", or "I have a few things I am working on", but mostly what comes out is a feeble, "I'm having trouble getting into a routine".
That's not exactly true. I do have a routine that took years to hone. It's the ABC lineup from 7-10am, than switch over to NBC for Ellen at 10. At 11am, I begin contemplating various productive endeavors... writing, exercising, housecleaning, or shopping? At about 2pm, I give up figuring it's too late to start a project, and I will plan to do it tomorrow if I can get to it. Finally, there's just time for a quick nap before the kids get home from school. Ugh, it's pitiful -and embarassing to admit that is my day.
Sometimes I wish I weren't surrounded by so many amazing, creative, spiritually evolved, and intrinsically exceptional women and men. To know that I am capable of changing the world is heavy. It's exhausting. I think I need a nap.

Touched By The Sun

When darkness invades the depths of my senses,
Dreary becomes the night.
Gladness and joy bide beyond picket fences,
Outside my reach, within hindered sight.

Though I yearn to be doused in the light of hope,
The intruding shadow lingers.
I have fashioned the noose of this hazardous rope,
Let it tighten between my fingers.

Disdain for myself, -scorn for everyone,
Spoils my temper and crop.
If I am to flourish ever touched by the sun,
The madness must come to a stop.

A new journey begins with uncertain gait,
A course set for the light.
Beckoned by a more prosperous fate,
Resolved to abolish my plight.

How astonishing then, the discovery made,
Once I am set free,
The light that overcame the shade,
Came from inside me.

If You Know What's Good For You...

The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

I'm sick of being overweight. Okay, I know I said earlier that I feel better about my body than I ever have, and that is true most of the time, but-I just don't feel good. It's not so much how I look, truly. I just don't feel healthy. I realize that I have poor eating habits and I don't move as much as I should, and therefore I am not healthy and I have no right to feel good. I have been trying to find the balance between living life to the fullest, (enjoying it's bounty and savoring every moment) and having a pure and disciplined lifestyle (exercising and a nutritious diet). I have been fighting the never-ending uphill battle with a varying degree of commitment for over 20 years. However, at the root of all the excuses lies one simple truth. My priorities have been sorely misaligned. Self-indulgence and immediate gratification have taken precedence over what I know to be the true purpose of this miracle called life. Loving and learning. We are here to love and to learn from each and every experience that makes up our daily existence. But that takes a certain amount of courage. While I have loved and learned enough to be relatively happy, I have let FEAR hold me back from my full potential, and gluttony has been my consolation. Sadly, it has also weighed me down. But on this day, there is hope. I have this day and all the days that remain to 're-establish my purpose in life'. I can let go of the fear and the remote control, and I can begin to follow my true and authentic calling. After all, if I've learned one thing, it's that dreams can be delicious.

Excuses, Be Gone!

This past week, I saw an incredible dancer on America's Got Talent.  You may have seen him too. Alonso "Turf" Jones was homeless for 2 years so he could dance on the street for donations. I can just imagine how many of his friends and family thought he was crazy and probably told him outright he should get a real job. His mom even kicked him out of the house when he graduated school and said he wanted to dance, but he never gave up. I am completely awestruck by his dedication and commitment to his dream and will be rooting for him to win.
My dream is to be a professionally published writer. Of course I would love to be the next J.K. Rowling, or even E.L. James, but I would be ecstatic writing advertising copy. Writing is the one thing (besides being a mom) that I have always known I wanted to do. However, I have let FEAR keep me from pursuing my dream. For forty years I have let self-criticism and doubt paralyze my pen. So four months ago, I quit my job to chase this seemingly crazy idea that I could start a career as a writer. Pretty good, huh? I thought so too, except -I still have a million excuses for not having written a thing outside of this blog. I won't even bother laying them on you, they are lame, lame, lame. Hearing Turf's story has given me the cosmic kick-in-the-butt I need. I'm going all in starting today. Dignity and pride be damned, I will write. Heart and soul baring, gut-wrenching, corny, passionate, brilliant, or moot. I give it to you, the reader to pass judgement. And I humbly thank you. Now go follow your dream. Go.

Letter to a Bully

Dear Bully,
Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't like you, but I wouldn't want you to have to feel like I do for even one day. Everyday I go to school, and I hope no one notices me. I always have a knot in my stomach because I don't know if you will push me around or call me names. Everyday. I'm just a kid, and sometimes I think you are right. I think there's something wrong with me. I'm a freak and a weirdo, and I just don't fit in. I just want to get through the day so I can go home and be left alone. My mom tells me not to worry about what other people think. She says you are immature and insecure. She tells me that one day, I'll have friends who like me for me and I'll forget all about you. I know that I will never forget. But I will leave you behind. I have the love of my family, and my faith in God. He made me and I am His perfect child. I know that I will be stronger because of you. I will forgive you. But today, can you just leave me alone?
                                                                         Sincerely, Bullied

Dear Bullied,
You are a loser. Every time I see you, I get mad because I don't want to be like you. Whenever I start to wonder if I am just like you, I take you down, and it makes me feel better because everyone laughs and cheers me on. Sometimes I surprise myself with the mean stuff I say and do, but then I'm just glad that I'm not the one getting pushed around or called names. I try really hard to fit in and I'm afraid if people knew the real me, they would make fun of me and they would hate me too. I wish I had someone to tell me I'm okay. I hope someday I can just be myself and feel good about it. But for today, why can't you just be normal, so I don't have to be so afraid?
                                                                         Sincerely, Bully 

Tree In Woods

Many years ago, in a thriving thousand acre forest on a still, crisp afternoon, an acorn dropped from an oak tree. The acorn sat quietly on the forest floor among a multitude of others, until it was chanced upon by a small squirrel. The squirrel ferried the acorn along with its store toward a nearby nest, but it happened that this acorn was dropped a few yards shy of its destination.  An intentional breeze blew by, urging neighboring leaves down from their lofty perch, and the acorn was soon nestled in calm abeyance under golden-hued cover. Eventually, the acorn sought sustenance from its fertile bed, and began exploring the earth with its newborn tendrils. Dispersed to every direction, one upright sprout found nourishment from the air, sun, and rain. Taking hold of great opportunity and with steady determination, the sapling flourished with strength and beauty surpassing any before it. No one could be certain how long the oak tree stood, nor could they over-estimate the life it fostered. Countless flora, fungi, and fauna, furred and feathered, mighty and miniscule, all traded bounty, and lived and died beneath its canopy. One unremarkable day, a passing stranger seeking himself came upon the magnificent tree. Overcome by its splendor, he began to weep. "God, why should a tree as grand as this be hid in obscure woods? This masterpiece should stand alone on a hilltop near a city or village, and be admired by many!"
The Lord replied, "This tree is in its perfect place, as are you. Be as the Oak, steadfast in your purpose. Rest assured, you feed many without accolade and though you may be unaware, there is at least one who has been, and at least one who will be, witness to your glory."

A Journey of A Thousand Miles

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley

Although I am blessed beyond belief, these words inspire me. One of my favorite songs has a similar theme. When I hear Lose Yourself, by Eminem I can't help but sing out:
"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime!" 
Each of us has obstacles to overcome. It is our personal mission to triumph over them. Seize the moment, right? It's difficult, though, being in a transitional phase. I am attempting to manifest my opportunity. I am the skipper of my soul. I feel like a traveler waiting for a train. My destination is clear, the train's arrival is imminent. But the exact time is uncertain, and patience has never been a reliable traveling companion. Should I book a flight instead, or maybe just take the bus? I can't help noticing this station is quite nice. I could hang out here for a good long time. No, something tells me that the journey will be well worth the wait. Lord, let me be in the right place at the right time, and don't let that train pass me by.

It's All Good

According to an article written by Scott Hensley for NPR's health blog, Shots, "more than 1 in 5 women ages 40-59 are taking an antidepressant, the highest rate for any group. Overall, women and adolescent girls are 2 1/2 times more likely than men and adolescent boys to be taking one of the pills." Depression and anxiety go hand in hand. Those two besties aren't satisfied just hanging with eachother. They want you in their clique. They will spend hours whispering in your ear, taunting you, luring you into their fog of uncertainty. They'll convince you that you need to obsess to be in control. So, we worry. About everything, except for....no-we worry about everything. We are not willing to accept that there are events we cannot plan, and we cannot foresee. We let our imaginations run rampant when it comes to 'what-ifs'. I catch my mind launching into very traumatic and violent scenarios several times a day. This is  mentally and physically taxing, and frankly, I do not have time for it. 
I have found only one remedy for this destructive habit. I force myself to let go. Let go of the fear, and trust in God's perfect plan. Let go of preconceived notions. I don't know what His plan is, but I know that it is good. Let go of expectations for how anybody else should think or behave. The only person that has to love me is me. Just let go and live in the moment. Whatever comes is for the best. Let go. Oh, and cut back on the caffeine.  

Grow Up -or Out. Grow Any Way You Can

Old people make me smile. It probably started with my grandparents, because I was lucky enough to have known 3 of my grandparents, and 3 of my great-grandparents. They were all very different people, running the gamut from quiet and soft-spoken Great-Grandpa Buck to the somewhat demanding Great-Grandma Mandy, (affectionately referred to as 'Madame Queen'  by her daughter). The one trait they all shared was their unconditional love for all of their grandchildren. Grandma Schneider was very outspoken about how talented, amazing, and perfect-in-every-way each of us was. Her love and admiration still empower me today.
I don't have any idea really how most people feel about the treasure trove that is our senior population. As a society, we don't seem to have any regard for them at all. What a shame. I realized early on, that if I were lucky, one day I would be one of them. As I move further down the spectrum from young to old, I am making diligent mental notes. I see that it is possible to have joy, peace, and abundance in our final years. Encountering those who are 'growing' old as opposed to 'withering' old, is so uplifting. I hope to always continue learning and loving to the best of my ability. There are so many ways to grow, and 'old' is inevitable. Let's find our own ways to grow over the time that we are blessed with.

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

I'm back from an amazing vacation with my family. I find traveling to be bittersweet in that the experiences are so breath-taking, and yet, for all my studies in communications, I sadly realize that I cannot adequately convey them to friends and loved-ones. So many sacred moments pass by in a heartbeat, forever cherished by the lucky few who share them. I'm sure that's why I hear myself actually whining when I hear other people are taking a vacation "you are?...that's so awesome...lucky!"   
While on vacation, we all try to toe that line between luxuriating in the freedom from our daily duties and being ever mindful that every passing moment brings us closer to the end. We all consider, in varying degrees of seriousness, not returning home at all. Hopefully, when it does inevitably come time to pack up and return to the real world, we do not return empty-handed. Along with our souvenirs, sun tans and stories, we have a new perspective. The earth seems smaller, and God seems closer. Best of all, we have a broader definition of the place we call home.

Cloudy With a Chance of Sunshine

I'm not sure where you are, but here in Michigan, spring has gloriously sprung. We have just come off a week of record high temperatures in the 70's and 80's complete with plenty of sunshine. As a habit, no matter the conditions, I very intently refrain from complaining about the weather. Hot, cold, rain, sleet, -it is what it is. With all the advances in technology, it is one universal condition that humans have not yet learned to control. No use in lamenting the dictator that is Mother Nature. However, there is no doubt that weather has an impact on our collective psyche. This feels so good, and people around here just seem happier, and nicer. It really is the surprise of it that delights us. If March felt like this every year, we wouldn't be nearly so appreciative. But why do we not revel in a cold dreary day? A day that gives permission to curl up under a blanket and watch a great movie. Or, if you insist on being productive, go ahead and find a closet or a drawer to organize. This philosphy can be applied to all aspects of our lives. After all, there are no highs without lows. There is no light without darkness. Whatever the condition of the day, there is something worthwhile to be embraced. Thank You, God, for the change in the weather.  

Forgive Me

"Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life." --George MacDonald

Did you know that three of the AA 12 steps are devoted to forgiveness? It is a very difficult process to confront  and make amends with the wounds we have suffered in the past. Especially considering that most of our wounds were at the hands of those we love most. When spiritual leaders speak of forgiveness, we are reminded that our own sins have been forgiven, and so we are to glorify God by forgiving our trespassers. And if that's not motivation enough, then consider that we inherently forgive more for our own sake than for that of our transgressor. We sincerely want to release that pain and move forward without the burden of anger and resentment.
I can empathize and rationalize the offenses of everyone around me. I know they have a good heart, and they are doing the best they can. They're probably having a bad day, or worse. Who knows the depths of their pain? But, there is one person that I find extremely hard to excuse. Me. So now, I forgive myself! -For every negative thought or criticism that I have for myself, be it real or imagined, I'm forgiven. I have the best of intentions. I'm doing the best I can.  Granted, I am a child of God, and children are always in the process of learning, mostly by making mistakes. But I get wiser and kinder everyday. In the iconic words of Alexander Pope, "To err is human; to forgive, divine."  -Ahhhh, it certainly is.

'Tis Sacred to Receive

By God, we women are givers. Sharing, caring, nurturing, serving, giving to others is what we do. It's who we are. Who needs something? A friend? A family member? A complete stranger? Well, run -don't walk! Get in there and help! Of course, we get something in return. We anticipate, we crave the comfort and satisfaction of being needed, loved, and appreciated even. Better yet, we experience a deep sense of connection to all human-kind.

Why, then, is it so difficult to be on the receiving end? I am coming to a disconcerting realization that I am a most ungracious receiver. I become nearly mortified at being offered a free lunch, or even a soft drink. Does not everyone see how blessed I am, for heaven's sake? To accept would be nothing short of putting my indulgent wants ahead of the needs of my potential donor. What if they can't pay their bills now because they left the entire tip? Reason tells me that is somewhat silly logic. Conscience tells me it's arrogant.  I would like to change. Far be it for me to deny someone else the pure pleasure of giving.

So next time someone gives me something, I will smile and say "thank you, thank you very much". Practice with me, girls. I know some of you feel the same way. I've had dinner with you.

My Sacred Temple

I am fast approaching 44 years old. I weigh more than I ever have, including during any of my 3 pregnancies. I pluck random hairs from my chin several times a week. Many of the fleshy areas of my body, including my chin, are becoming quite jiggly. But, you know what? I am strangely more proud and feel better about my body than I ever have. I have been on a spiritual journey and I am learning to love myself, including the sacred temple that is my body. Hallelujah to getting older! 

I so desperately want to pass on that hard-fought wisdom to my daughters. I can tell them how beautiful and wonderful they are a ga-jillion times, still they dwell on their perceived shortcomings. I can only hope that they find, in the words of our dear departed Whitney, "the greatest love of all", in quicker time than I have. Thank the Lord, they both seem to be much more evolved than I was at their age. -"Word" to your mother ...and to their mother... and to my mother.

And Now for the Boys...

'Men shouldn't have to bear the burden of our remembrance. It's not their function to remind us we are goddesses. It's our function to remember it and then reveal it to the world. When we remember, they will too. The light will be dazzling.'- Marianne Williamson, "A Woman's Worth"

So, where does our lack of self-love leave the 'other half'? I have the privilege of knowing, and counting as my friend many good men. More than a few great men, even. But I fear for my son, and grandsons that the generations to come will miss out on the deep loving union that is built between best-friend lovers. I just need to state for the record that we, my sisters, have set the bar. We cannot expect men to respect us and treat us with honor when we do not do that for ourselves. Sex sells, and we are the most fanatical consumers. Of course we want to feel attractive and beautiful, but we are paying far too high a price, and we are left feeling less than satisfied by our purchase. Talk about 'buyer's remorse'. 

Now, if you just so happen to be a man, please don't feel excluded from this discussion. We do rely on your strength and protection. The love and devotion of a man is a most uplifting source of validation. Btw, a woman who has connected with her inner goddess will 'rock your world'. If you aren't currently in a relationship with a woman, then raise your consciousness for your daughter, your sister, your mother. We are in this together, and together, we will change the world. One goddess at a time.

Sshh, Listen. Your Inner Goddess is Talking

I've been reading a wonderful book by  Marianne Williamson, A Woman's Worth, that speaks directly to so many of the ideals that I fiercely desire: A new woman is burgeoning forth. She is allowed to feel good about herself. She is allowed to not only want, but to expect the best for herself. The deep love she has found within allows her to love and nurture everyone around her. So, I am so into this book. The profound and progressive thoughts put forth on every page prompt some very ardent head-nodding, frequent wistful, "I know, right?", and many a downright pious, "Amen, sister!" Williamson is a woman who has connected with her inner Goddess, and inspires me to get closer to mine.

I'm not sure what prompted me to look at the copyright date, but I was truly dismayed to find that this book is 20 years old!... Come on, ladies! How on earth, in the past 20 years, have we gone so far in the wrong direction? Girls today idolize women like Snookie and Kim Kardashian, who cannot see that for their every fear and insecurity, they are being exploited.  -Now, here is where I want to be careful about lingering up on a soap box. We are all intelligent women who know in our hearts what is good for us and what is toxic. Instead, I invite you to build your own platform.

Find a young woman who is mired in self-doubt. Share with her what you know about true beauty. Chances are, she will be a bit more than skeptical. Encourage her to pay attention for a short while, be still, and observe how she feels at any given moment. Which words, actions, t.v. shows, songs, or movies make her feel good about herself? Which ones leave her feeling less than, or not good enough? In the stillness, we hear our inner goddess speaking, and the sooner we all learn to listen to her, the better.

We are Still Women???

I am a beautiful, strong, and decisive woman. Well, ...I'm working on it. Aren't we all? I want to help you, and I know that you can help me. Let's start by dismissing the following notions: -That we have no value to society unless we are sexually desirable, -that only women under the age of 29 can be seductive, -that we must be perfect mothers, employees, partners, and lovers, and finally, for God's sake! -that we are in direct competition with each other for any element of success or happiness.

Let's turn our backs on those toxic norms. We can drown out the un-enlightened. We will no longer hear them over the roar of our collective affirmation, "I love and respect myself, and I am not giving you one second of my attention, or a dime out of my pocket  unless you do the same!" I demand that for myself, my mother, sisters, daughters, friends, and grand-daughters. I demand that for you.

We are still women. There is a seed of the goddess within you. It may have too long been buried too deeply to sprout, but we will clear the debris from the fertile soil and the Divine Spirit within will flourish. We will be impervious to the constant assault on our self-esteem, even if it comes from our own thoughts.

We are still women. " You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose." Indira Gandhi. Yes, there are goddesses among us. Women who have overcome pain and obstacles, who have sojourned through their years hungrily searching for and stockpiling every moment of truth. You may be one of them. Can you be still, quiet your mind, and let your heart speak it's deepest desires? However brightly your light shines from within you, I invite you to shine here. Please share your struggles and triumphs. You are a gift and you are treasured here. I look forward to learning and growing with you.