Older Than Dirt

"Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary." -Cecil Beaton

I complain too often about young people today. I frequently hear other people criticize and bemoan their lack of virtue and common sense. It has been so ever since the Stone Age. I'm sure cave men complained their children had it easy, what with the invention of the wheel and the discovery of flint stone. We don't understand our kids; their clothes, their language, their dreams. None of it makes sense to us, even though we remember being there not so long ago. We remember when our parents hated our music, gave us ridiculous rules, and attempted to impose their will upon us. We didn't listen, but everything turned out fine. If we take the time to remember, we will appreciate where our children are coming from and cheer them on in the direction they are going. Cotton candy colored hair, tattooed, pierced, mismatched socks, nerd flags flying high and proud, they are daring to be different. They connect with the world and with each other on an unprecedented level through modern technology and social media. They are comfortable in their bodies. They are confident, enthusiastic, and silly. We should continue to offer them guidance, but don't be afraid to let them lead us. Following the timeless words of Ron Wild, "Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child."

Like Nailing Jello To A Tree

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” -Tony Robbins

Raising teenagers is terrifying. Even when there appear to be no problems, I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know they are going to try stuff. I know they will make mistakes. No amount of rationalization or centering myself in the moment can completely eradicate the fear. They are the most precious things in my life. Not only do I wish to spare them of any and all sense of pain, fear, and lack, but I also hold myself accountable for their personal happiness and for the decisions they make.  If only I could chain myself to them for the next 5 years, I could make SURE they were safe. But I can't. I can't and even if I could, that would rob them of some of the greatest opportunities of their lives: Life's greatest lessons delivered in bad decisions, ego bruising missteps, and broken hearts. As always, parents must toe a line between discipline, guidance, support, and -letting go. We must come to terms that it is not our plan that is unfolding before us. It is God's plan. Our children have their own journey and their own destination. So we take pride and joy for our small part in it. And we give thanks.

Auld Lang Syne

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. -Dalai Lama

As I get older, I am increasingly aware of how people come in and out of my life. How many times did we hear as kids, “friends come and go, but you will always have your family?” That has proven to be true for the most part, but I have found that friends can be every bit a part of your family as blood relatives. And sometimes, family relationships can be so toxic that you must limit contact or end them completely. It is a constant juggling act, deciding on whom we wish to invest our time and energy. It's difficult to keep up friendships from the past, make time for extended family, and cultivate new relationships. So many wonderful friends have drifted away, and I often wonder how. I analyze my part in it, feel guilt, then sadness, and then anger or resignation. It's a process of grieving played out many times over for the people I loved that once were an important part of my life. I appreciate that through social media, we can attempt to rekindle at least a fraction of the tie that was severed. But I find myself avoiding Facebook, (the only account that I have). It is exhausting trying to status or message people. So much pressure to be interesting and witty. I can only hope that I sufficiently express my love and appreciation for my precious friends and family by relatively old-fashioned means. I must remind myself that letting go of the worry and guilt is always helpful and productive. Ultimately the best we can do is put the One relationship at the top of the list. When our relationship with God is thoughtfully and intently nurtured, we can rest assured that we are on the right path, and so are our friends. We will always have a piece of eachother that will shape who we are in the future.

Death and Taxes

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

Change is scary. We don't like it. It's hard to face forward with anticipation when we are turned around watching the past diminish behind us. Change is also inevitable. As determinedly as we resist, we cannot hold it at bay. The sun will rise and then set, people will come and then go, our bodies will age, and time marches on, ready or not. The only choice we have in the matter is how we perceive it. We can grow gracefully by two means; hope and understanding. Hope has been a common and highly touted theme throughout this blog. It's time to commemorate the gift of understanding. Understanding is a very potent companion to loving and learning, but it doesn't get near the valuation it deserves. The fact is, there are questions in life that have no answer. There are problems with no solutions. Sometimes we have to make do with 'the best we can do', even though it falls short of our ideal. For those times, understanding can bring comfort and peace of mind. Understanding gives us permission to feel bad for a bit, to seek solace or retreat, and best of all, it assures us that 'this too shall pass'.