I'm exhausted. This spiritual/career evolution is taking a lot out of me. I've lost count how many times in the last four and a half months I have been asked the dreaded question,
"So, are you working?"
I've tried to rehearse a respectable response such as, "yes, I'm self-employed", or "I have a few things I am working on", but mostly what comes out is a feeble, "I'm having trouble getting into a routine".
That's not exactly true. I do have a routine that took years to hone. It's the ABC lineup from 7-10am, than switch over to NBC for Ellen at 10. At 11am, I begin contemplating various productive endeavors... writing, exercising, housecleaning, or shopping? At about 2pm, I give up figuring it's too late to start a project, and I will plan to do it tomorrow if I can get to it. Finally, there's just time for a quick nap before the kids get home from school. Ugh, it's pitiful -and embarassing to admit that is my day.
Sometimes I wish I weren't surrounded by so many amazing, creative, spiritually evolved, and intrinsically exceptional women and men. To know that I am capable of changing the world is heavy. It's exhausting. I think I need a nap.
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