My emotional health is completely out of synch with my physical health. While I am trying to convince myself that I am evolving spiritually and connecting with my inner goddess, my body is betraying me. I can't seem to stop gaining weight, and it's getting harder and harder to feel okay about how I look.
Ok, ok, I know enough to know that nothing is out of synch. I am battling depression -probably the seed of empty nest syndrome, or maybe just an ordinary mid-life crisis. Funny, though, how the heart and mind can be committed to an enlightened destination, while the subconscious is busy crossing wires, altering the coordinates and sabotaging the entire journey. I am really really trying to not be so hard on myself, then I heard something great at church. (don't you just love church? ...if you don't then you are at the wrong one)
From Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other,
or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."
The verse refers to God and Wealth as two opposing masters, but it struck me that it's God and Ego that divide me. It's just a realization with no resolution, but understanding a problem is always key to finding an answer. Hopefully, (thank You, God, for Hope) the answer is just around the corner. I'm going to acknowledge my problem, ask for support from the people who love me, and never give up on myself. I'm glad to not be alone, and I rejoice that there is always hope.
4 comments:
I am with you honey!
Your hubby
Thank you, honey.
Kristi, I have been there,too. Kristi, have you had a good cry????you can't imagine the release that can give you. A howl-out loud, buckets of tears- fall to your knees CRY!!! MINIMUM 3 HOURS! That's what I did when my last child left for college and I went into her empty room and just stayed there and howled not just for her but for her and our other children that we had sent off to life. Exhausted, I got myself up and because I,(I know you do too) trust in God, I tried and sometimes succeeded and sometimes not- but I tried to stand down and to be there for all their endeavors. Mostly we took great pleasure in their steps forward and concern in their steps backwards. Always, they have overcome life's obstacles. So far, I have seen them lead blessed lives and I give most of the credit (outside of God) that they have chosen partners that Dad and I are comfortable with and feel they are own children,too
- onawaygram
Parenting truly is a gut-wrenching, thankless endeavor that never really ends. I am getting a hard lesson in letting go, but I truly believe that you are a sublime mother. Proof -your 3 amazing talented and happy adult children. Thank you for that, and for your hand in helping me raise mine. I love you
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