The Way, the Truth, and the Life

"One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller

Once again, I am faced with the realization that spiritual enlightenment and grace are far from my grasp. My number one priority in life is to treat people with the utmost honor and compassion, yet, the people closest to me are too often exposed to the ugly fallout of my neuroses and insecurities. When I am lost in self-pity and contempt, the Truth is easily forgotten, and hope is buried beneath a pile of excuses and blame-shifting. I know enough to understand that I am my only problem. I just don't know how to communicate my problems to the people that care, without making them feel responsible. Especially as I, and naturally everyone else, gets older, the dynamics change so drastically. I never want to get so set in my ways, that I put them before the feelings of another human being. I want to be able to express my needs and still be considerate of the wants and needs of others. I want to clearly see that line between being supportive of the people I love without enabling them to live unhealthy, unbalanced lives. I know the only time you can truly help someone is when they are asking, yet we ourselves are reluctant to ask for help. As we grow older, we are supposed to grow wiser and surer, but there comes a huge responsibility with age: the pressure to have the solution. The Truth is, the solution is not the answer. As soon as one problem is "solved", you can be 100% certain that another problem will present itself. The answer is staying centered and being at peace with it all. Our Father God takes delight in every step and misstep that ultimately brings us closer to Him. I will keep seeking, and remember that while seeking is the path, it is simultaneously the destination.