“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” - David Augsburger
I often catch myself doing a bad thing: Projecting. It's a terrible habit of assuming that you want what I want. I'm sorry you got stuck with that strawberry sundae instead of chocolate... You didn't go out Friday night, you just laid on the couch and watched movies? Bummer. Only, it turns out, strawberry is your absolute favorite, and -you worked your ass off all week, so you relished staying home. It's all good. Too often, when you are talking to me, I am listening, but with a preconceived notion of how you feel about it, whatever it is. And I worry about you. I worry because you don't have all of the things you surely wish for, you know, -the things I prize most. And sometimes I even feel bad because you don't inherently know what it is that I prize, which invariably leads to some misunderstanding or disappointment. Well, I'm sorry, and I'm working on it. For the past 20 weeks, my life coach class has given me a tremendous lesson in the art of listening. I am learning to be present in professional and personal relationships in a way that is helping me connect to others on a deeper level. It is so thoroughly gratifying to fully listen and hear to the heart of what is being said. I think that is the single greatest wish that we all share, to be heard and truly understood. The irony is that most of us want that so badly that it takes away from our ability to do so for others. When we let go of our assumptions, we have the opportunity to really see the world from a new perspective. And I am finding the cherry on top of letting go of my assumptions is that I am able to more fully receive the gift that is you.
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