I'm Not Kidding

Everyone in my family and many of my friends are hugely amusing. I am forever trying to match their satirical humor and dry wit. On occasion, I come up with a real stinger. I can also manage to hit one beautiful shot off the tee in a round of golf, but that does not put me in the category of good golfer. I'm afraid more often than not, my attempts at banter come off as confusing and/or rude. I have learned to self-edit and remain silent, better to come off as lame than bitchy. I am beginning to wonder if this caustic disposition is doing more harm than good. Words and thoughts have a profound power to shape our lives, and deprecation, even in jest, can easily take over our inner dialog. As much as I long to be a comedienne, I want more to quiet my inner critic. I am very vigilant about the voices I allow into my world. I try to avoid pessimism and aggression in any form and it is time to shut down my own negative repartee no matter the mask it wears. I am going to strive for wisdom and love over wit and laughter, at least until humor finds an outlet in praise and encouragement.