I messed up. It's not exactly the end of the world, but it did hurt at least two of the most important people in my life. It was thoughtless, inconsiderate, and cast a shadow on what was to be a magnanimous invitation. Of course, I have made mistakes before: I took responsibility and did my best to atone. Most errors are fairly easy to understand and can rest peacefully in the past. This one just feels a little different. I need to figure out how I went so far without realizing what I was doing before I can move forward.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
When I take the time to analyze it, I can only come to one shameful conclusion: my ego won out over my Truth. Selfishness, pride, and pettiness I do acknowledge in my thoughts, but I wonder now, how often do they appear in my actions? I have sensed a windfall approaching. Spiritual, physical, and financial abundance are seeping into my consciousness. Is my separateness from God the dam that holds it all at bay? The task at hand must be to reside in Divine Love, leaving no room for insecurity or fear. My faith remains strong. I have an abundance of patience and just enough time to dwell in the past in order to change the future.
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