How Can I Help You?

If I've said it once, I've said it fifty times....you can't tell anybody anything. Don't we always want to solve everyone elses problems? We see people we love making mistakes that are certain to cause them pain, and we want to warn them.
      "Listen, I know. I've been there. I was in the same situation and here's how I wish I would have handled it. It would have been so much easier. You're welcome."
Rarely, though, do we hear a "thank you." Our loved one is hardly listening because he/she is too busy thinking about how you don't and could not possibly understand. Not really, because his/her situation is very unique and especially troublesome. Nothing you are suggesting will work because there are far too many obstacles to overcome. This particular problem is going to take a great deal of time and energy, and even then, it may never go away.
If only they would listen. It is bewildering to hear about all the people who get angry when the people they love make mistakes. We are offended when our sage advice is waved off, and we are frightened by the consequences. That's why even the most loving relationships are so very complicated. When we are caught up in our pain, all we really want or need from eachother is to be listened to and understood. Realize this, the only problems we will ever solve is our own. Giving each other room to make mistakes is the ultimate act of love and acceptance. If I can't solve your problem, I will be there straight away with a great deal of chocolate, and an armload of tissue, and I will cry with you. You're welcome.